How Do I Cry?

How Do I Cry?

Tears sparkle between my lashes
As downcast eyes search the barren, dark sky.
Trails of memories float swiftly by
On the cold winds of the lonely night,
Covered in dense, grey clouds.

Pain stabs at my heart
With each breath of my lungs;
Each beat of my heart;
Each tear that never falls;

For every moment that I hurt
and never cried,
For every agony that I faced
and never screamed,
For every wound that never healed,
But opened again, and again with searing pain.

Despair fills my soul
As I try so hard to cry.
But how do I perform a skill
I have never learnt?
I can’t shed a tear for each time I felt ashamed.
I can never shed a tear for each memory
That perverts my soul.
I can never undo the single stitch
Of one solemn, pear-shaped tear
Never fallen.
Why?

How do I unravel the thread
Of saved tear-stitches so long ago made?
How do I release the renting wail of cloth
never torn?
How do I spoil the weaving spent so long
In creation?
How do I unwind the very case
That protects?
Tell me,
Please?
How do I cry?

Kadeen Nichelle Oksana Waldron
Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Falling Apart

Falling Apart

Strands of hair fall–
Signifying the world
That crumbles.
Ground shakes,
Is that in me, or outside?

Throat closed–
Strangled by cries
That never leave my lungs.

Eyes burn red–
With tears
That will never know
The outside world.

Aching sobs
Fill the cavity
Of my emptiness,
Yet still no sound emits.

Spiral,
Spiral,
Spiral.
Down,
Down,
Down.
Fall,
Fall,
Fall.
Still no sound emits?

Darkness–
Snatches light.
Currents pull me deeper.
Deeper,
Deeper.

Never was a strong swimmer–
So what happens next?

Kadeen Waldron
April 15, 2011