Clouds& Darkness: Contemplation On The Train Ride Home

When I’m lying in my bed,

I stare at the ceiling.

I lie there, cloaked in darkness.

Sometimes it chokes me,

At others, it holds me gently:

Caressing,

tenderly filling me with love and wisdom.

Those are the moments,

The beautiful ones in which the fan is whirring,

When my thoughts are roaming poetically,

Sometimes lyrically.

Those are the hours,

The minutes in time when I am “me”

The little one who loves

The girl who is neither afraid nor vulnerable,

Those are the nights

when I can feel love

coursing through my veins,

The temporary swing on the edge of the moon,

Traipsing on fluffy clouds.

Clouds…

Those cottony darlings who remind me of Sara,

Of friendship and cotton candy,

Late night blog posts

Weaving threads and connections.

It  is when I’m lying in my bed

With the creamy-light ceiling above me,

Showing me words and answers–

With memories and impressions,

Those midnight hours through the 3 a.m. musings,

That I love and hate the darkness.

Kadeen Nichelle Oksana Waldron

Thursday, September 12, 2013. 21.34hrs

Random Swirling Words

There are those moments where the words simply flow. Where they move out of my fingertips as if they have a mind of their own. That isn’t really the case though. It is simply these moments. Those times when I lie in the dark and life moves around me and I am stuck in one place; fighting between self-loathing and self-pity. Then the life returns and I remember that I am not like the rest. I am one but not one. T’is the confusion and the words let me think, let me sort, and sometimes I never post for thoughts are but fleeting….and some fleeting thoughts are best kept to one’s self.

Just needed to purge, do forgive me for filling up your blog feeds with meaningless words….but there are just those moments when the walls crumble for a second before the defenses do their usual work. Have a good eve one and all 🙂